You asked for it 

You asked for it.

Huh?

You asked for it.

Did I?

You asked for it.

Oh, I’m sorry?

The bartender slides me the drink. The same drink I’ve been drinking every night, as the night begins, the night that seems to go too quick— and yet… slow. My fingers drum over the decanter, rolling over its grooves, rubbing, caressing, fingering at every single crevice. Its rhythmic, the way my fingers chip at the glass, the same way my mind slowly begins to chip away.

There is a moment in everyone’s life when you realise the power you have, the control you think you possess, never truly existed to begin with. When that day comes, you will never see it the same again. No array of vibrant lights that beckon you to dance can ever shed you of the darkness that slithers in.

You know, that abyss that cloaks itself in and amongst your friends and family? It never truly leaves you, lurking in the shadows it waits, in every second alone, it begins to take a chunk out of you. Bit by bit…

Piece.

By.

Piece.

Your body will decay, your skin will mottle. At first, it’s a bruise, a tiny insignificant bruise, that’s all it could possibly be, right? Then that bruise turns purple, Deepening in its richness- it’s delight. Not long after it will turn red, do you hear me?

It.

Will.

Turn.

Red.

A dark deep scarlet, before its hue turns crimson. It festers, you see? The longer you let it sit, the longer you let it happen, the darker you will become until all you have left is a decrepit husk.

Those people you met at the bar, help though, right? This place, the only place you know, is the place you call home. Where home can ever possibly be. It beaconed for you, entrancing you to come closer, to see more, to feel more. It helps, yes, it helps, you never have to pretend you’re anyone else there.

You don’t have to peer over your shoulder, constantly pulling your jacket tighter, hoping they don’t see, because what if they do? What if they see the way your lips quiver, a dam begging to burst. What if they see the way you provocate your bare legs, your chest, your makeup? Please. You’re a fucking joke.

Of course that’s the kind of attention you are seeking. You want them to see you, to watch you, to breathe you in. Their eyes shredding apart every piece of layer you have till you can’t breathe. The only thing you can do is run, and don’t let go. Do you hear me?

Don’t let go, because you know exactly what happens if you let go.

Ahh, but at least the alcohol helps, the way it burns down your throat, plumes of smoke wafting across your face as you do. Your friends frequent here, you drink, a lot. They’re your closest buddies you see? Your dearest friends, who are exactly like you.

Or that’s what you think.

The worst part though, is when you’re left alone for slightly too long, when the haze truly becomes a blur, when everything just seems to fade away.

That’s when the darkness returns, but does it ever really leave? No. Have you been listening? I’ve already told you this. It will never, ever leave you alone.

You will breathe their sins for all of eternity, because you asked for it. You hear me?

You.

Asked.

For.

It.

It’s a legitimate tactic you see. You know the way you peer over your scarf, only daring a small dainty glance – never your last glance. Your eyes, so large, so blue, so full of hope and dreams.

That second – that second, never lasts long enough, oh do I enjoy seeing you leave though. The way you quicken your step, quick, quick, quick. Oh, how you are so quick! So devilish, so cheeky, oh you are so good, you know exactly what you’re doing.

You just love this game don’t you,

   Oh.

Yes.

   You.

Do.

If you didn’t love it, why would you continue to play? Why would you saunter your way to me, your curves popping too tightly in those pants, your breasts, oh your delicious breasts, the way they hug you so tightly. Especially, when they’re hidden underneath those mouth-watering blouses. Oh, how do you do it?

You do so much for me. The time you must take every day in that apartment of yours, I watch you for hours and hours, from morning to night. From your curtain closed, to it halfway during early morning light, then to fully drawn when you haven’t realised how late it is as you watch your dramas. Though, I think deep down you keep them up late just for me, because you love to share these cute, tiny, sweet moments together.

I know you love it.

You love that I watch as you tear off your clothes after a long day, watching as you daringly yank your shirt off. My mouth waters, oh my mouth waters, the way your perky little breasts burst from your bra. Your nipples hardened, practically begging me to suck you dry.

Suck them, suck them, ohhmmmph suck them!

Guzzling down your beautiful nectar.

Like I’m your little baby that has to keep sucking them! The best part is when you bend over though, bend over, yes bend over. Your cute, folds begging to be split open. Begging for my tongue to go inside your delicious fanny, oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!

Mmmph, you’re so infectious.

God, you’re so infectious. You are so bloody delightful! Ooh! You get me going, you get me revelling, oh how i revel, i revel and revel till there is nothing left but you. Your curls, your dainty little hands, your curves, oh god your curves. Oh, how I can’t wait to see you again, just for even a second, just for even a glimpse 

But it could never be just a glimpse – no, never – I need to touch you, to feel your soft baby skin under my hands, to fondle your body, to touch every single crevice. I can’t wait to eat you – Eat? Eat? Eat? – yesssss, eat you. My maws need to taste you, oh yes, I need to, I need to…

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Let me touch you,

No!

Let me suck you!

No. No. No.

Let me eat you,

Let me consume you,

Let me ravage you.

Tear you, rip you, maul you. Oh the way your nipples would taste when there is blood spurting out of them, the beautiful crimson it would spray, yes spray across my face, in my eyes, in my mouth in my teeth. Your chunks would be inside me, Oh the way your stomach would taste when I can wait to devour your insides, your organs.

Yes, then you could never leave me, right? Never again. I’d drown myself in your beautiful wine, it would splash, it would spray, but most of all it would be all mine. You could never, you could never,

You could never leave me…

But you haven’t been home as of late, are you okay? Is it okay? The baby?

What happened to her? What happened to her? What happened to her!?

There must be a mistake.

There has to be. There has to be. There has to be.

Right here,

Right here,

Right here…

I’m right here.

Your light hasn’t lit up, your curtains up, and yet there is nothing? I take time out of my day to watch a –and what is this !? Not even a light! Not any movement!? Not even a TV turned on!? How long do you expect me to pay attention for? How long do you expect to make our intricate moments intimate? How am I supposed to keep you company, huh? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.

Because you know that I’m not going to stay. No, I’m not going to stay, not even a little bit, not even at all. You have lost me. I am no longer yours, not to hold, not to bare and not to, not to, I don’t give a goddamn what to.

Yup, that’s it. That’s it, you hear me?

That’s It.

I deserve a glimpse, all I’m asking for is a goddamn glimpse, is that so fucking hard!?

How

                            Are

We

                                                    Supposed

                             To

                                                            Play

                                                                              Our

                                               Game

                                   If

                    You

     Won’t

                  Come

Back

It’s them, right? It’s those men, those damn men, the way they stare at you, breathe you in, practically eating you up from where you stand. I hate the way they stare at you, the way they leer at you. They don’t deserve you at all, you are too good for them. They’re tearing you apart, I know they are, how dare they.

I can’t wait to kill them.

I will kill them.

I will kill them.

I will kill them.

Then you’ll be safe, yes, safe and sound and back to me.

Come back.

Please, oh please, please, please just come back.  I need you, I love you, I’m sorry okay? I’ll never do it again, I promise, please, please just come back.

Oh, please

Just come back…

Chitter chatter

Chitter chitter

Chatter.

Chitter chatter chatter

Chitter.

Eyes.

Some are as beautiful as the sea, vast, deep but never are they clear. Clear of the frothing foam, clear of the raining sand, nor clear of the entanglement of weed.

There are always eyes.

They hiss, they sneer, with their beads they continue to peel, into their awaiting maws,

Can’t you see?

No. you’ve never been able to see. Not even as the waves hurtle, shadows ensnaring you, no you’ve never seen.

Not             even when it’s

     right in front of

                                               you.

Yes. Right. In. Front. Of. You.

It dances, it taunts, it sways and it wants. It’s thick juicy mahogany venom drip

Drip

Dripping.

It never stops dripping. It never leaves,

Why won’t it stop?

Hey, why won’t you stop!

Stop, stop,

STOP.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

I can’t take it.

I can’t tale it.

I can’t take it.

Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one here? Aren’t you supposed to be

          i n t e l     l i g e nt    ?

No room to breathe, no room to second guess, no room to even shed a tear.

You couldn’t even see it if you wanted to.

Though, you try, you

Always try.

At least the drop wouldn’t be alone though, right?

The waves will crash,

Crash,

Crash.

At least your tears have found a home.

You’re too heavy. Too worn, too old.

You’re brimming with gunk, you’re brimming with grime, your body will turn to sludge.

Your lights – shut up you imbecile.

Chitter chatter

Chitter chatter

Chitter chatter

Do you hear it? Chitter chatter chitter chatter chitter chatter

Chit chit chit.

Do you hear it?

Chitter chitter chat-teeerrrrr

Do you hear it?

I can’t stop hearing it. It won’t stop. I can’t make it stop.

Help me, help me , help me.

Yes. You. The same person I’ve been trying to talk to.

Why. Won’t. You. Listen. To. Me.

Your body lingers,

As it festers and rots.

Your spores empty,

Seeping rotting mold.

Blood, so much blood.

It’s so itchy. It’s so itchy. It’s so itchy.

Your voice echoes through the chasm,

Echoes and echoes and echoes.

Why are you screaming for?

Why are you crying?

Why are you whining?

They’re only maggots.

Their maws hunch on your fists.

The same fists that are tied,

Lying their to lay in waste.

Why are you still screaming?

I’ve had enough of your goddamn fucking

WAILS.

Chitter chatter

Chitter chatter

Chitter

                                   chitter

CHATTER

                                                                  Chitter

chitter                         

                         CHATTER chatter

chitter 

         chitter

chitter

CHITTER CHATTER.

My meat is strung, strung, strung

Strrrrunnnggg!

LA LA AALA LAAA LAA LAAA ~

AHAHAHAHA, oh yes.

Yes, oh yes,

The tune is so beautiful, the symphony, the goddamn chatter

It’s so beautiful.

You’re so beautiful, I can’t wait to gorge upon your delicious, juicy

Soul.

You are mine,

 because ah,

because ah,

 because ah

You know it. You know the words babydoll,

Come on speak for me,

You.

Yes that’s right.

Asked.

Oh you’re so good!

For.

Almost, Almost!

It.

Ahhh.