CHAMPAGNE TASTE, BEER BOTTLE POCKET

Sean T. Barnes

WORDS BY LUCY GRANT

We stand by all the thrifty foodies out there and know how it feels to have to sometimes sacrifice the more luxurious things in life. So, in solidarity, we’re offering our best tips and tricks to those who are budget-bound but refuse to put a price on the joy of good food and fine dining.

With my champagne taste and your beer bottle pocket, I’ll be having pheasant while you’re dining with the peasants, Dunking donuts in a diner without me. 

There are so many great things that come with moving out of home for the first time. Paying rent is not one of them. Living is expensive, and often we feel the sudden shock of this fact when we first fly the coop and are thrust into managing a whole new set of financial responsibilities. This can be a real struggle, especially if—like me—you suffer from the critical affliction of good taste. 

There is an Eartha Kitt song called Champagne Taste that my housemates and I became obsessed with over the Melbourne lockdowns. For us it explains the bittersweet frustration of being in your early twenties and discovering yourself and what brings you joy, only to find that realistically managing this against the confines of your hip-pocket is nigh impossible. If you’re a student (like me) then you’re likely dealing with what Ms Kitt coins a ‘beer bottle pocket’. And if (like me) you are also someone who loves eating good food, hosting dinner parties and trying new restaurants, then this quickly becomes quite a challenge.

I am no stranger to making rash financial choices when it comes to food. My indulgent purchases run a very slippery slope and before I know it I’m armed with a $13 tin of artisanal paprika, four free-range duck breasts, two beautiful bottles of local wine ... and an empty bank account. So where does the buck (pun intended) stop? How do you honour your self-proclaimed ‘refined palate’ without reaching Carrie Bradshaw levels of fiscal irresponsibility?

In attempting to come up with an answer to this question, I have put together some suggestions on how to eat well while still respecting your beer bottle budget (these are mostly for my future self to take heed of, but hopefully you may get something out of them too).

Work out what your food budget actually is. Hot tip: this is not the same as how much money you make in a week minus rent. Grab a pen and paper, sit down, nut out all your expenses and come up with a realistic amount of money to allocate to food per week. If you’re a casual worker then it’s probably going to look a little different week-to-week, and that is where you can have some fun. If you went hard on the shifts last week then maybe this is the time to try that fancy new restaurant or treat yourself to a Spring Street Grocer cheese haul. If you only ended up working a couple of shifts, then maybe it’s more of a unique-pantry-creations kind of week. 

Recognise when cooking for yourself is becoming more expensive than it should be. Everyone’s scale for this will be different, but if your day-to-day meals are getting so elaborate that you find yourself thinking you could have eaten out for significantly less then it’s probably time to reassess. This might mean strictly sticking to what is in season and is therefore reasonably priced, or maybe cooking in larger quantities so you can stretch your leftovers across multiple meals. Or, if you want to get specific, selecting only two or three of the dozen fresh herbs and spices suggested in the recipe.

Make your passion for food well-known. If your family and friends know how much you love a well-prepared meal then they are more likely to A) invite you around for one and B) gift you with food-related items and experiences. Let’s say your family, your partner, and your friends each take you out for a birthday dinner instead of giving you a present ... that’s three restaurants ticked off the wishlist each year (for free!).

Moderation is key, and that is not just friendly advice for your pocket. Oritz anchovies are a beautiful, beautiful thing, but if you’re piling them atop your toast every other day then they are bound to lose some of the plump, salty charm that makes them so special. Save the really good stuff for every now and then, and in the meantime make do with the perfectly adequate $4 Russinos from Woolies.

Food preparation and storage is a serious business. When you return from your grocery shop, take thirty minutes to store your fresh herbs correctly, pre-slice and freeze your sourdough loaf, tidy the veggie drawer and run a quick inventory. Wasting food sucks. Beyond it being a colossal waste of money, there are so many quick and easy things you can do to avoid having to chuck out a third of your shopping in a week’s time.

A note on meal prepping: no one is asking you to dedicate fourteen hours of your Sunday to preparing all your meals for the week, because that’s unrealistic and boring for both your soul and your palate. However, the humble shopping list is a different story. Buy a cheap notepad from Officeworks or set up a note on your phone and make a pact with yourself to only do your groceries when you have had time to properly think about the week ahead and what you want to eat. It means you don’t fluff around in the supermarket picking up every second item on special and it helps you to make smart meal choices that use up all your fresh produce. Those rich morsels of prized guanciale in your carbonara will taste even better knowing they are also serving as the centrepiece of your antipasto board tomorrow night.

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Hopefully this non-exhaustive list helps both you and me to make smarter financial decisions without sacrificing our love of good food. Having an expensive appetite on a beer bottle pocket can be tricky to navigate, but despite what some of the curmudgeonly home-owning ranks might suggest, spending lots of money on food is not a crime. You don’t need to give up your champagne taste completely ... you might just need to opt for more of a Chandon taste for now.

AFFORDABLE EATS IN THE CBD

In the spirit of eating well on a budget, we have selected some of our favourite cheap eats destinations located throughout Melbourne’s inner suburbs. If you’re looking for budget-friendly groceries, takeaway options and dine-in experiences, hopefully these suggestions expand your repertoire beyond the ole faithfuls.

GROCERIES AND MARKETS

Queen Vic Market (3–4pm on a Sunday for the most competitive prices) Queen Sreet, Melbourne

Senserrick ($15 fruit & veg boxes on Sunday) 384 Rathdowne Sreet, Carlton North

Preston Market (Saturday arvo for the most competitive prices) 30A The Centreway, Preston

KT Mart (comprehensive and cheap Asian grocer in the CBD) 600 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne

Cheaper Buy Miles (up to ninety percent cheaper than regular supermarkets) 160 Barkly Street, Footscray

Oasis Bakery (bulk buy your spices here) 92–96 Station Street, Fairfield

EATING OUT

Melbourne CBD:

Mekong Pho 241 Swanston Street, Melbourne

N.Lee Bakery 61 Little Collins Street, Melbourne and 220 Smith St, Collingwood

Borek Shop QVM 481 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne

Lulu’s Char Koay Teow 27–31 Hardware Lane, Melbourne

Soi 38 38 Mcilwraith Place, Melbourne

Butcher’s Diner 10 Bourke Street, Melbourne

Spleen 41 Bourke Street, Melbourne

Shujinko 225 Russell Street, Melbourne

Collingwood:

Hotel Jesus ($2 Taco Tuesdays) 174 Smith Street, Collingwood

Old Raffles Place 68–70 Johnston Street, Collingwood

Trang Bakery and Café 382 Smith Street, Collingwood

Fitzroy:

Mile End 14 Johnston Street, Fitzroy

The Evelyn ($10 jugs) 351 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy

Shop Ramen 329 Smith Street, Fitzroy

Fitzroy North:

Moroccan Soup Bar 316 St Georges Road, Fitzroy North

Good Times 214 St Georges Road, Fitzroy North

Just Falafs 207 St Georges Road, Fitzroy North

Brunswick:

Greens Refectory 115 Sydney Road, Brunswick

A1 Bakery 643–645 Sydney Road, Brunswick and 122 Station Sreet, Fairfield

Very Good Falafel 629 Sydney Road, Brunswick

Flemington:

Chef Lagenda 16 Pin Oak Crescent, Flemington

Al Amin 264 Racecourse Road, Flemington

I Love Dumplings 297 Racecourse Road, Flemington

Richmond:

Hector’s Deli 1/94 Buckingham Street, Richmond

Loving Hut 10/242 Victoria Street, Richmond

I Love Pho 264 Victoria Street, Richmond