KNOW YOUR WAITER
Dedicated to all the quirky waiters out there, hustling for tips as best they can.
THE HIPSTER
Explains a deconstructed burger to you like you don’t know what a burger is. Probably has a man-bun.
THE INTIMIDATOR
Has so much authority that you’re afraid to order wrong.
THE FLIRT
Can I take your order and have your number? There’s a fine line between flattery and being creepy.
THE KEEN BEAN
Fills your water glass after you’ve had two sips. Will try to take your order fifteen seconds after you’ve sat down.
THE ‘MY UNCLE RUNS THE PLACE’
No matter how bad they are, you know they’ll always be employed there. Do they even know what they’re doing?
THE VANISHER
They seated you. They processed your bill. They were otherwise non-existent.
THE HUNGOVER ONE
Most often seen at brunch. They’ve definitely puked in the staff bathroom.
THE FRIEND
Will try to sit with you and tell you their life story before even taking your drinks order.
THE LEGEND
Nails your order despite not writing it down. Can carry five plates and ten drinks at once. Knows. What. They’re. Doing!
